Family Memories-Sha

I don’t really have anything good to say about my immediate family. They are a harsh and clandestine bunch. I don’t really look like either of my parents, and my personality is so radically off base from theirs that I have never seen eye to eye with any of them. Really, people tell me that I am most like my grandfather on my mothers side, the Appalachian side.
Grandpa Cecil was an independent mountain man who had been known to wander into the forest and stay for days to weeks, eventually emerging with large amounts of ginseng and various roots. He looked upon my siblings and I as half breed mutts for the most part, but I loved him so fiercely that I didn’t see it. I never saw him around the holidays, and he never came knocking for my birthday. I really only have one memory of him from when I was a child. My family had taken us all for a visit to his cabin, and as a treat he took m older sister and I into the woods to find wild turkeys. I was small and incredibly frightened of losing my way. I was scared of the tall, lumbering tress that swayed so uncertainly in the wind. While my sister and grandfather went forward I was overpowered by my fear and could not press forward. Grandfather Cecil turned back and looked down upon me. He laughed harshly and commended me for my great cowardice, and told e to find my own way back if I would not go forward with them.
He died earlier this year. When I visited him in the hospital he was so frail. He looked like a sad shade of the cruel man I had once known. I cried without really knowing why. At his funeral distant relatives who never wanted anything to do with me marveled at how my likeness was of his. I hardly knew this man I am so much like. I regret that day in the woods. I think back and dream, that maybe if I had shown some spine he would have stayed in my life. I know it’s an impossibility, and it was his loss for shunning us because of our race. I love him still though.

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